Sending out an S.O.S.

So often I forget that I have the power of the Holy Spirit in me. I try and try to do things without realizing the Helper is right there to give me the ability to do it. As I sit down to spend time with Him, lately there has been a lack of focus. I ask Him to help me focus and fill me with His Holy Spirit. The thing is, I hate saying "help" all the time. Someone once told me that everyone who prays just sounds like a broken record because all they every say is "Lord, help me do this. Help me do that..." And yet I am helpless. So I can cry to Him for help. Psalm 46:1 tells us that the Lord is a very present help in trouble. In Psalm 18:18 we see Him as our support. John 14:25-26 Jesus says that He is sending the Helper, the Holy Spirit who will teach all things and bring them to our remembrance. So why do we hesitate to ask for help? I believe it is because it has been ingrained in us not to seek God on matters dealing with ourselves. It must be all about Him and others, it would be selfish to talk about our troubles or cry out to Him. YES, it's all about Him. But it is not selfish to humbly ask for assistance in a matter that you know you cannot fix on your own. Every Sunday we get drilled about how we can do nothing out of our own power. How then do we expect to do anything productive if we do not ask for help?! I am not saying this to the neglect of the fact that you must desire to change and not just continue doing the same thing over and over. Perhaps that is why directly after what Jesus says in John 14, He follows up with the fruit of the Spirit. We will be known by our fruit. If we are not producing them, something is wrong. The problem is we are not relying on God. He is our help! We can send out an S.O.S. and He will hear! Don't be afraid to bear your heart. "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:8) Remember that He is Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth. Praise Him for it. Lift Him high! Don't be afraid to call out to Him.

Here is a little something I wrote. You'll see how it connects once you read it through :)

"How I Loved You So"

It's sad to see you go
Oh, how I loved you so
You were the very crutch
On which I relied so much

When things got me down
You were always around
To give me a boost of self worth
I didn't notice your selfish smirk

I thought you were there to lift me up
To build my confidence, fill my cup
Instead you were building your fortress
Which I could not have torn down unless

I poured out all my contempt on you
And asked the Lord to pull me through
You laughed in my face and hissed
"You need me. You'll never be done with this."

I couldn't get rid of you
Though I knew I needed to
You cropped up at every turn
And I wondered if I'd ever learn

How to ignore your merciless taunts
And turn a blind eye at your flaunts
You cry out in the streets feigning wisdom
And threaten to tear down all God's Kingdom

But we all must stand up to you
Before you blind us through and through
You only made me focus on myself
When my eyes should be on someone else

As long as I am in the flesh
I'll battle you till my last breath
Oh how many years I've tried and tried
Till I relied on God to rid me of you, Pride



I think that sums it up. The biggest thing in my life right now that I have needed help with is pride. I must daily ask the Lord to make me aware of it and to cut it off before it starts. Pride comes in so many ways: spiritual pride, intellectual pride, pride over our possessions, pride that won't allow us to be wrong regardless of whether we are or not, pride that keeps us from doing or saying things for fear of tearing down our facade of togetherness.  But it is all selfish. We use it to build ourselves up rather than being built up by the Word of God. We don't need pride. Yet when we try to let it go, we reach for it and pick it up again. Somehow we believe that without it, we won't amount to anything. But pride never gave anyone worth. The only way for true worth is by finding our identity in the God who created us. "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24) In truth, I am addicted to pride. I am wondering how I am going to go on without it. That is so wrong, and yet that is the whole of the battle. I do that which I do not want, and that which I want to do, I do not. Yet with God's help, I will live a life consecrated to Him and give all the credit where it is due: on Christ Jesus my Savior and Lord.

Would I Sing?

Would I sing to You

Even if I didn't know a song?
Would I lift my eyes to You
And sing one of my own?
Would I be so overcome
By Your loving grace
That even if I couldn't speak
I'd stand in awe amazed?
Would I be so enthralled
By Your glorious majesty
That even if I couldn't move
I'd lift my heart to Thee?
Would I be so overwhelmed by you
That even if I couldn't see
I'd still sing praises of Your works
And proclaim Your love for me?
Would I be so overtaken with joy
That even if I couldn't hear
I'd cry out and raise my hands to You
Who took my burdens to bear?
Oh that I would sing praise to You
No matter where I stand
No matter what the circumstance
You are my great I AM!

Lemme know what you think.

Kenya Missions Trip 2010

Dear Friends and Family,

I have the amazing opportunity to go to Kenya for 10 days (December 25, 2010 to January 5, 2011) with my church, Christ Covenant of Matthews, NC. I will be working with youth at Kenyacamp, which will be at a ministry center outside of the slums of Kibera in Nairobi. I have been praying that the Lord would bring me an opportunity to do a mission trip this year, and here it is. When I found out in June, all I needed was for the plane tickets to work out. I knew that if Kenya was where He wanted me to be, it would surely happen. A few days later, after talking with the leaders of the trip, I was told everything was in place for me to go! I am so excited for this experience. I have been on a mission trip before, but never outside the United States. As many of you know, in 2008 I went to Colorado with Campus Crusade to work with inner city youth. This camp will be similar in that I will be working with youth who come from very underprivileged lives.

I am already beginning to have a love in my heart for the people there and I am praying that the Lord would open my eyes to His people and expand my vision beyond my comfortable life here. I have never been outside of the US so I am a bit nervous for the flight among other things. I could really use your prayers right now. I really feel the closeness of the Lord as I seek Him through this. It's been amazing. Thanks to everyone who is praying!

Just to give you a glimpse at what we'll be doing: Pastor Imbumi Makuku, the leader of the church in Kibera, says that the camps have played a significant role in the revival at the Kibera church. This is the fifth year that Christ Covenant has been asked to lead the camp. The children come from the Kibera Slum, where almost 1 million people live in about two square miles. We bring about 150-200 older youth from the slum to a resident camp for a week of camp activities and Bible teaching. Here they can escape their world for a week and live without the stresses they deal with day to day in the slums. My heart is breaking already for them and the hardships they are going through at such a young age.

Would you join me in my ministry to these youth in Kenya? Most of all I need your prayers. If you would commit to pray for me during the months before and during Kenyacamp, I would be greatly blessed. With your help, I will be able to be a part of this trip to bring the love of Christ to these people.

This also includes financial support. I need to personally raise $3000. The cost is for plane tickets and to pay for the children attending the camp since they cannot afford to pay for it. Please prayerfully consider helping me by giving a financial donation of $20, $50, $100 or more. Any amount will be so helpful. Do not think just because of these hard economic times that since you may only be able to offer a little that there is no point in giving at all. The Lord will use whatever you can give.

Thank you all for your support and the prayers you have lifted up for me through this process. I cannot wait to see what the Lord does through this, in me, you, and the lives of these youth in Kenya!

To help support me financially please click below to read this document:
http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1a6b7sZBnuL7sAHEGk2lHQqp9WyNnFZF9iOo5smy206c&hl=en&authkey=CPL-gKEM

Click here for the support card to be included with your check.

http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1yqglxejYtqz4u0aPCwtzrg-boUbT1s6rxWTDxvD0Hyg&hl=en&authkey=CJagqpMG

For prayer support, you can fill out the support card above and all forms can be sent to:

Outreach and Missions, 800 Fullwood Lane, Matthews, NC 28105

Thank you all for your time and prayers!

Pictures!

Just some photos I took today! I can't wait to take more...my battery pack died :(

 

Pens

As many of you know, I love pens. I love to write with them, I love to draw with them, I just love a good find when it comes to pens! That is why I want to share with you the things I've learned about the many pens I've sampled over the 15+ years I have been writing. To start out, I am going to go with the more recent pens, though I have tried quite a few in my day ;) From the type of pen, to the tip size, to where to find it, to how much it is, I am here for you to let you know the details! For those of you who may not know, the 0.5mm or 0.7mm notations on most pens you see are the tip size of the pen. The smaller the decimal, the smaller the tip (for more precision on college-rule or smaller size lined paper) and the larger the decimal, the larger the tip (for more flow and ease of use for handwriting on college-rule or wide-rule and larger size lined paper). Let me say I'm just a bit biased when it comes to the color of pens. I can't stand colored pens in my journal...no blue, no purple, no neon green. JUST BLACK. But for those of you who love to have your colorful writing, I will include the color scheme of said pens.

Here are my top 5 so far:

BIC Triumph 730 (0.5mm) Pen
My personal favorite right now for my journal writing. For its permanent and dark black ink, ease-of-use, refillable!!, and smooth writing for smaller rule lined paper. Also great for official documents, clean writing with no bleed-through. Black, blue, or red ink.
Found at Office Max and Target
Approximate Cost: $4

Sharpie Extra Fine Point Permanent Marker
For overall smoothness and great handwriting on a one-sided page (because of the bleed-through). Most everyone knows about this one. What you don't know, is that this is the Sharpie marker with the felt tip, but it is thin, unlike your typical, run-of-the-mill thick Sharpie markers. Large variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $5

Pigma Micron 005 (0.26mm) Pen
For clean, clear lines in a small space (such as Bibles and books) and overall smoothness (plus it's permanent!) Great for drawing as well!! Only drawback, the tip begins to shove back into the metal as with most pens of this type (depends on how often you write and with what pressure). Primary colors and some pigmented colors (such as sepia and burgundy) ink.
Found at Michaels and Hobby Lobby
Approximate Cost: $3

Foray Liquid Medium (0.7mm) Pen
For smooth lines, flow, dark ink, ease for good handwriting (cursive and print). Sometimes bleeds through certain types of paper or when you bear down too hard, but water resistant! Variety of colors of ink.
Found at Office Depot
Approximate Cost $1 !!!

BIC Mark-It Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker
For great flow and beautiful handwriting, permanent ink, and minimal bleed through (depending on the thinness of the paper). Lines are fairly thick, but still great for journals and other writing.  Wouldn't recommend to use on checks or official documents. Variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $1 (In a pack of 8 for about $8)

Honorable Mention: Pilot G2 07 (0.7mm) Pen
These used to be my all time favorite pen until I got my journal wet one day and the entire page smeared. Ever since then I always check for PERMANENT or WATER-RESISTANT pens. They should be labeled. However, if you are a person that doesn't care about this and are simply looking for a smooth pen that makes your handwriting look pretty in cursive and print, this is the pen for you! Large variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $3

And now for some samples!!

Pigma Micron 005 (0.26mm) Pen

This one I like to use in my Bible for side notes. One of my top five.
 

In order of Appearance:

Foray Liquid Medium (0.7mm) Pen

One of my top five.

Sharpie Pen Easy Grip with Top

Would be an honorable mention, except for the whole smoosh thing.

Sharpie Pen Easy Grip Click Pen

Same as Sharpie Pen with Top.

 BIC Triumph 730 (0.5mm) Pen

Another top five.

Papermate Regular "Black" Ball Point Pen

Not my favorite, but cheep and easy to grip, so handwriting looks nice...too bad the ink doesn't match the ease-of-use.

Sharpie Extra Fine Point Permanent Marker

One of the top five.

BIC Mark-It Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker

Another top five.

My next blog will be about pens to stay away from. I will be your personal shopper so that when I spend money and find a dud, you won't have to because I'll be here to inform you! Please feel free to ask questions or even request a certain pen for me to try out! Anything you request, I will make sure to get a critique up as soon as possible!

Throw Off All that Hinders

On Monday, I sat outside under the eaves of the back porch of the dairy barn as rain poured down in front of me. I looked up to the sky and it seemed so surreal and almost unbelievable that God is up there. I wondered how I could even speak to Him. Then I thought of the song with the lyrics, "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth." (from Psalm 121). I just really felt His presence then and began to cry. I felt so inadequate and that reminded me of Psalm 144:3, "O Lord, what is man that you regard him, or the son of man that you think of him?" How could He think of me, sitting there under the shelter of the dairy barn, when there is such an expanse of earth and beyond that I cannot even fathom or be a part of? In my small sphere of influence, what am I really doing? I feel as if I'm just living. But I want to be Living, with a capital "L". I want to live life for what matters, for His Kingdom. All the cares of the world and the things I use to fill my time or derive comfort from mean nothing in the scheme of God's plan. Why do I busy myself with gadgets? Why do most of us think we really should have these things? With all the things we use to entertain ourselves, there is some sense of entitlement within us that says, "Well, it's boring right now, so I have a reason to indulge in this." What we are really saying is, "Maybe if there was actually something good going on in my life God, I could spend more time with you. As it is, this is more interesting." How can He give us purpose if we keep turning away from His call to leave all the things that preoccupy us? I seriously do want to go out and sell all my pointless things that I use to amuse myself. What good are they, but to distract me from my true purpose here? God did not say He wanted to bless us with trinkets and nice things--how selfish to think that I, of all people, a sinner who might as well be spitting in the face of my Jesus every time I choose worldly things over Him, deserve that blessing? God does not just bless us with objects for our happiness, He blesses us with relationships, spouses, children, strength and perseverance when we are at our weakest, and the seemingly small things that show us He is there and loves us. The objects of this world can serve a purpose and bring us joy, but when we look to them as our only source of joy (which, if we truly inspected ourselves and were honest, we would have to say that we do) we must rid ourselves of them. Anything hindering you from seeing Christ, cut it off. That is why God said it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Riches cloud judgment, we begin to rationalize, become hooked, then addicted, and then give excuses why we shouldn't give it up. What is taking over you? We must identify and throw off all that is taking over our effectiveness for our true reason for living on this earth: to glorify God, work for the Kingdom, make disciples, and enjoy Him (above ALL else) FOREVER.

Excited

I'm going to Kenya!!!!!!!!!!!!