Hello everyone! I felt that it might be good to let you know what I've been praying about for this trip and invite you to join in :)
Here is the list that I have put together:
I want to be changed. I want to open my eyes, to learn lessons from the people in Kenya. I am asking the Lord that we would sharpen one another.
I long to take part in true worship. To do it in Spirit and in Truth. For it to be rich and full and most of all REAL.
That I would not be concerned with how I look physically or spiritually, but be genuine and that the whole team would be authentic and open.
Asking the Lord to bring the kids into that openness and to soften their hearts to us. Make their hearts receptive so that we can grow close and see their hearts.
I would like to see their passion. To hear about what's real to them. To be changed by it.
I want to see things happen. That the Lord would renew, transform, rebuild, repair. That I would not ignore, play down, or gloss over the true pain and suffering they are experiencing just because I don't know how to handle it. That He would show me how to respond. Not just with a cliche Bible "band-aid" but with truth from the Word and love show them hope.
I have a feeling they'll be showing me more than I'll be showing them. We take so much for granted here in America. They live with so much less. I can't even imagine what it's going to be like. I need the Lord to reveal to me what to pray for. I hope you will come alongside me in that.
The biggest thing for me is that the Lord is making me increasingly aware that I don't truly believe He works through any and every situation and circumstance. Sometimes it even seems certain things are devoid of Him or His power. I want to be reminded that He works in all things (the good and the bad) and that nothing is apart from Him and His knowledge and ordination. He is working now in their lives and ours. May I never doubt it!
That I would be reminded that He is preparing me even now and that though there are many unknowns, I have nothing to worry about because He has it all under control.
That this time in Kenya would be dramatically influential spiritually for all of us involved.
There are going to be many stories that will make my heart break, but He can use them to change and mature me and the group.
For strength for all of us to face each day with the full vigor and energy of Christ which so powerfully works within us! (Colossians 1:29)
We are going through Colossians right now to prepare for the trip and it will also be what we will be studying with the kids in Kenya. Pray that the Lord will be using this in each of our lives to bring glory to His name and change us forever.
Thank you all for your time and support and prayer!
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Living Fearless
Why don't we live fearless lives? I am not speaking against having a healthy fear like the fear of God. I mean the gripping, horrible, crippling fear that we allow to seep into our lives every day that keeps us from doing what the Lord asks of us.
We are scared of what others think. We say we live in the world and yet are not of it. We are lying to ourselves! We are of the world. We let it trample us, to be honest. We cower down at the slightest hint of embarrassment and allow others with their warped values to walk all over us. We don't want to stand up to it for fear that it will ruin our reputation, make us look like lunatics, cause others to hate and malign us, or push non-believers away. Was Jesus afraid of these things? Was He not accused of being a lunatic? Was he not hated and slandered and his reputation sabotaged? Did His words not cause people to turn away? The answers to these questions bring conviction. Have I been afraid? Yes. Have I been accused of being a lunatic, been hated and shunned, or had my reputation ruined? No. Why? Because I haven't declared the mystery of the gospel boldly as I ought to speak. I should be praying for words to be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the gospel (Ephesians 6:19).
It doesn't matter what my life looks like on the outside. It doesn't matter if people think I serve the Lord with all I have. All that matters is what is in my heart and what is truly going on, because God sees that and is not fooled. Why, then, do I not follow through with the promptings of the Holy Spirit? Why do I give in to the embarrassment of possibly looking silly for doing what He's asking? When we ignore the Holy Spirit's promptings, we are committing sins of omission. We know what we should do, and yet do not do it. How many times have I ignored Him when He's prodding at my heart to take action? How many times have you ignored His leading? What are our reasons for this? We should live as if we have nothing to lose. And yet we live with attachment to so many worldly things, possessions and reputation, that we live as if avoiding the loss of those things is more important than gaining a brother or sister in Christ. When we put our confidence in the flesh, we are sure to fear the loss of it. But we are called to worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus, putting no confidence in the flesh though we might have reason to by our accomplishments (Philippians 3:3-4). Paul says, "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him" (Philippians 3:7-9). Paul suffered the loss of all things and he saw change. We must ask ourselves why we have not suffered the loss of all things.
Our goal is not to find life, but to lose it (Matthew 16:25). We are so concentrated on finding life, that we are losing out on what it is to have true Life. If we would count all other things as already lost, then we wouldn't be worried about losing them. We would be a fearless people, living fearless lives, fearlessly proclaiming the gospel, no longer worried over our reputations. Oh, that we would cry out to the Lord and ask Him to help us overcome our embarrassment! Living a fearless life does not mean that fear is not a reality, but that we press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, despite our flesh's protests. Only the Holy Spirit in us can give us the courage to proclaim Jesus' name regardless of the consequences, but we must listen and follow through. It is my prayer that we would seek this with all that we are. That we would become a fearless people, living fearless lives, making a difference. America is at a stand still because we are not proclaiming Christ's name everywhere we go. It's scary to think about carrying out what God is asking of me and I even shudder to think of what it means that I have to do. But it is not in my own strength that I do it. "For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Colossians 1:29). The power of the Holy Spirit is in us. We have only to take hold of it, to call out to the Lord, and to run with it in full faith that He will follow through and answer our prayers for boldness.
We are scared of what others think. We say we live in the world and yet are not of it. We are lying to ourselves! We are of the world. We let it trample us, to be honest. We cower down at the slightest hint of embarrassment and allow others with their warped values to walk all over us. We don't want to stand up to it for fear that it will ruin our reputation, make us look like lunatics, cause others to hate and malign us, or push non-believers away. Was Jesus afraid of these things? Was He not accused of being a lunatic? Was he not hated and slandered and his reputation sabotaged? Did His words not cause people to turn away? The answers to these questions bring conviction. Have I been afraid? Yes. Have I been accused of being a lunatic, been hated and shunned, or had my reputation ruined? No. Why? Because I haven't declared the mystery of the gospel boldly as I ought to speak. I should be praying for words to be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the gospel (Ephesians 6:19).
It doesn't matter what my life looks like on the outside. It doesn't matter if people think I serve the Lord with all I have. All that matters is what is in my heart and what is truly going on, because God sees that and is not fooled. Why, then, do I not follow through with the promptings of the Holy Spirit? Why do I give in to the embarrassment of possibly looking silly for doing what He's asking? When we ignore the Holy Spirit's promptings, we are committing sins of omission. We know what we should do, and yet do not do it. How many times have I ignored Him when He's prodding at my heart to take action? How many times have you ignored His leading? What are our reasons for this? We should live as if we have nothing to lose. And yet we live with attachment to so many worldly things, possessions and reputation, that we live as if avoiding the loss of those things is more important than gaining a brother or sister in Christ. When we put our confidence in the flesh, we are sure to fear the loss of it. But we are called to worship by the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus, putting no confidence in the flesh though we might have reason to by our accomplishments (Philippians 3:3-4). Paul says, "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him" (Philippians 3:7-9). Paul suffered the loss of all things and he saw change. We must ask ourselves why we have not suffered the loss of all things.
Our goal is not to find life, but to lose it (Matthew 16:25). We are so concentrated on finding life, that we are losing out on what it is to have true Life. If we would count all other things as already lost, then we wouldn't be worried about losing them. We would be a fearless people, living fearless lives, fearlessly proclaiming the gospel, no longer worried over our reputations. Oh, that we would cry out to the Lord and ask Him to help us overcome our embarrassment! Living a fearless life does not mean that fear is not a reality, but that we press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus, despite our flesh's protests. Only the Holy Spirit in us can give us the courage to proclaim Jesus' name regardless of the consequences, but we must listen and follow through. It is my prayer that we would seek this with all that we are. That we would become a fearless people, living fearless lives, making a difference. America is at a stand still because we are not proclaiming Christ's name everywhere we go. It's scary to think about carrying out what God is asking of me and I even shudder to think of what it means that I have to do. But it is not in my own strength that I do it. "For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me" (Colossians 1:29). The power of the Holy Spirit is in us. We have only to take hold of it, to call out to the Lord, and to run with it in full faith that He will follow through and answer our prayers for boldness.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sending out an S.O.S.
So often I forget that I have the power of the Holy Spirit in me. I try and try to do things without realizing the Helper is right there to give me the ability to do it. As I sit down to spend time with Him, lately there has been a lack of focus. I ask Him to help me focus and fill me with His Holy Spirit. The thing is, I hate saying "help" all the time. Someone once told me that everyone who prays just sounds like a broken record because all they every say is "Lord, help me do this. Help me do that..." And yet I am helpless. So I can cry to Him for help. Psalm 46:1 tells us that the Lord is a very present help in trouble. In Psalm 18:18 we see Him as our support. John 14:25-26 Jesus says that He is sending the Helper, the Holy Spirit who will teach all things and bring them to our remembrance. So why do we hesitate to ask for help? I believe it is because it has been ingrained in us not to seek God on matters dealing with ourselves. It must be all about Him and others, it would be selfish to talk about our troubles or cry out to Him. YES, it's all about Him. But it is not selfish to humbly ask for assistance in a matter that you know you cannot fix on your own. Every Sunday we get drilled about how we can do nothing out of our own power. How then do we expect to do anything productive if we do not ask for help?! I am not saying this to the neglect of the fact that you must desire to change and not just continue doing the same thing over and over. Perhaps that is why directly after what Jesus says in John 14, He follows up with the fruit of the Spirit. We will be known by our fruit. If we are not producing them, something is wrong. The problem is we are not relying on God. He is our help! We can send out an S.O.S. and He will hear! Don't be afraid to bear your heart. "Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us." (Psalm 62:8) Remember that He is Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth. Praise Him for it. Lift Him high! Don't be afraid to call out to Him.
Here is a little something I wrote. You'll see how it connects once you read it through :)
"How I Loved You So"
It's sad to see you go
Oh, how I loved you so
You were the very crutch
On which I relied so much
When things got me down
You were always around
To give me a boost of self worth
I didn't notice your selfish smirk
I thought you were there to lift me up
To build my confidence, fill my cup
Instead you were building your fortress
Which I could not have torn down unless
I poured out all my contempt on you
And asked the Lord to pull me through
You laughed in my face and hissed
"You need me. You'll never be done with this."
I couldn't get rid of you
Though I knew I needed to
You cropped up at every turn
And I wondered if I'd ever learn
How to ignore your merciless taunts
And turn a blind eye at your flaunts
You cry out in the streets feigning wisdom
And threaten to tear down all God's Kingdom
But we all must stand up to you
Before you blind us through and through
You only made me focus on myself
When my eyes should be on someone else
As long as I am in the flesh
I'll battle you till my last breath
Oh how many years I've tried and tried
Till I relied on God to rid me of you, Pride
I think that sums it up. The biggest thing in my life right now that I have needed help with is pride. I must daily ask the Lord to make me aware of it and to cut it off before it starts. Pride comes in so many ways: spiritual pride, intellectual pride, pride over our possessions, pride that won't allow us to be wrong regardless of whether we are or not, pride that keeps us from doing or saying things for fear of tearing down our facade of togetherness. But it is all selfish. We use it to build ourselves up rather than being built up by the Word of God. We don't need pride. Yet when we try to let it go, we reach for it and pick it up again. Somehow we believe that without it, we won't amount to anything. But pride never gave anyone worth. The only way for true worth is by finding our identity in the God who created us. "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24) In truth, I am addicted to pride. I am wondering how I am going to go on without it. That is so wrong, and yet that is the whole of the battle. I do that which I do not want, and that which I want to do, I do not. Yet with God's help, I will live a life consecrated to Him and give all the credit where it is due: on Christ Jesus my Savior and Lord.
Here is a little something I wrote. You'll see how it connects once you read it through :)
"How I Loved You So"
It's sad to see you go
Oh, how I loved you so
You were the very crutch
On which I relied so much
When things got me down
You were always around
To give me a boost of self worth
I didn't notice your selfish smirk
I thought you were there to lift me up
To build my confidence, fill my cup
Instead you were building your fortress
Which I could not have torn down unless
I poured out all my contempt on you
And asked the Lord to pull me through
You laughed in my face and hissed
"You need me. You'll never be done with this."
I couldn't get rid of you
Though I knew I needed to
You cropped up at every turn
And I wondered if I'd ever learn
How to ignore your merciless taunts
And turn a blind eye at your flaunts
You cry out in the streets feigning wisdom
And threaten to tear down all God's Kingdom
But we all must stand up to you
Before you blind us through and through
You only made me focus on myself
When my eyes should be on someone else
As long as I am in the flesh
I'll battle you till my last breath
Oh how many years I've tried and tried
Till I relied on God to rid me of you, Pride
I think that sums it up. The biggest thing in my life right now that I have needed help with is pride. I must daily ask the Lord to make me aware of it and to cut it off before it starts. Pride comes in so many ways: spiritual pride, intellectual pride, pride over our possessions, pride that won't allow us to be wrong regardless of whether we are or not, pride that keeps us from doing or saying things for fear of tearing down our facade of togetherness. But it is all selfish. We use it to build ourselves up rather than being built up by the Word of God. We don't need pride. Yet when we try to let it go, we reach for it and pick it up again. Somehow we believe that without it, we won't amount to anything. But pride never gave anyone worth. The only way for true worth is by finding our identity in the God who created us. "Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24) In truth, I am addicted to pride. I am wondering how I am going to go on without it. That is so wrong, and yet that is the whole of the battle. I do that which I do not want, and that which I want to do, I do not. Yet with God's help, I will live a life consecrated to Him and give all the credit where it is due: on Christ Jesus my Savior and Lord.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Would I Sing?
Would I sing to You
Even if I didn't know a song?
Would I lift my eyes to You
And sing one of my own?
Would I be so overcome
By Your loving grace
That even if I couldn't speak
I'd stand in awe amazed?
Would I be so enthralled
By Your glorious majesty
That even if I couldn't move
I'd lift my heart to Thee?
Would I be so overwhelmed by you
That even if I couldn't see
I'd still sing praises of Your works
And proclaim Your love for me?
Would I be so overtaken with joy
That even if I couldn't hear
I'd cry out and raise my hands to You
Who took my burdens to bear?
Oh that I would sing praise to You
No matter where I stand
No matter what the circumstance
You are my great I AM!
Would I lift my eyes to You
And sing one of my own?
Would I be so overcome
By Your loving grace
That even if I couldn't speak
I'd stand in awe amazed?
Would I be so enthralled
By Your glorious majesty
That even if I couldn't move
I'd lift my heart to Thee?
Would I be so overwhelmed by you
That even if I couldn't see
I'd still sing praises of Your works
And proclaim Your love for me?
Would I be so overtaken with joy
That even if I couldn't hear
I'd cry out and raise my hands to You
Who took my burdens to bear?
Oh that I would sing praise to You
No matter where I stand
No matter what the circumstance
You are my great I AM!
Lemme know what you think.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Kenya Missions Trip 2010
Dear Friends and Family,
I have the amazing opportunity to go to Kenya for 10 days (December 25, 2010 to January 5, 2011) with my church, Christ Covenant of Matthews, NC. I will be working with youth at Kenyacamp, which will be at a ministry center outside of the slums of Kibera in Nairobi. I have been praying that the Lord would bring me an opportunity to do a mission trip this year, and here it is. When I found out in June, all I needed was for the plane tickets to work out. I knew that if Kenya was where He wanted me to be, it would surely happen. A few days later, after talking with the leaders of the trip, I was told everything was in place for me to go! I am so excited for this experience. I have been on a mission trip before, but never outside the United States. As many of you know, in 2008 I went to Colorado with Campus Crusade to work with inner city youth. This camp will be similar in that I will be working with youth who come from very underprivileged lives.
I am already beginning to have a love in my heart for the people there and I am praying that the Lord would open my eyes to His people and expand my vision beyond my comfortable life here. I have never been outside of the US so I am a bit nervous for the flight among other things. I could really use your prayers right now. I really feel the closeness of the Lord as I seek Him through this. It's been amazing. Thanks to everyone who is praying!
Just to give you a glimpse at what we'll be doing: Pastor Imbumi Makuku, the leader of the church in Kibera, says that the camps have played a significant role in the revival at the Kibera church. This is the fifth year that Christ Covenant has been asked to lead the camp. The children come from the Kibera Slum, where almost 1 million people live in about two square miles. We bring about 150-200 older youth from the slum to a resident camp for a week of camp activities and Bible teaching. Here they can escape their world for a week and live without the stresses they deal with day to day in the slums. My heart is breaking already for them and the hardships they are going through at such a young age.
Would you join me in my ministry to these youth in Kenya? Most of all I need your prayers. If you would commit to pray for me during the months before and during Kenyacamp, I would be greatly blessed. With your help, I will be able to be a part of this trip to bring the love of Christ to these people.
This also includes financial support. I need to personally raise $3000. The cost is for plane tickets and to pay for the children attending the camp since they cannot afford to pay for it. Please prayerfully consider helping me by giving a financial donation of $20, $50, $100 or more. Any amount will be so helpful. Do not think just because of these hard economic times that since you may only be able to offer a little that there is no point in giving at all. The Lord will use whatever you can give.
Thank you all for your support and the prayers you have lifted up for me through this process. I cannot wait to see what the Lord does through this, in me, you, and the lives of these youth in Kenya!
To help support me financially please click below to read this document:
http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1a6b7sZBnuL7sAHEGk2lHQqp9WyNnFZF9iOo5smy206c&hl=en&authkey=CPL-gKEM
Click here for the support card to be included with your check.
http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1yqglxejYtqz4u0aPCwtzrg-boUbT1s6rxWTDxvD0Hyg&hl=en&authkey=CJagqpMG
For prayer support, you can fill out the support card above and all forms can be sent to:
Outreach and Missions, 800 Fullwood Lane, Matthews, NC 28105
Thank you all for your time and prayers!
I have the amazing opportunity to go to Kenya for 10 days (December 25, 2010 to January 5, 2011) with my church, Christ Covenant of Matthews, NC. I will be working with youth at Kenyacamp, which will be at a ministry center outside of the slums of Kibera in Nairobi. I have been praying that the Lord would bring me an opportunity to do a mission trip this year, and here it is. When I found out in June, all I needed was for the plane tickets to work out. I knew that if Kenya was where He wanted me to be, it would surely happen. A few days later, after talking with the leaders of the trip, I was told everything was in place for me to go! I am so excited for this experience. I have been on a mission trip before, but never outside the United States. As many of you know, in 2008 I went to Colorado with Campus Crusade to work with inner city youth. This camp will be similar in that I will be working with youth who come from very underprivileged lives.
I am already beginning to have a love in my heart for the people there and I am praying that the Lord would open my eyes to His people and expand my vision beyond my comfortable life here. I have never been outside of the US so I am a bit nervous for the flight among other things. I could really use your prayers right now. I really feel the closeness of the Lord as I seek Him through this. It's been amazing. Thanks to everyone who is praying!
Just to give you a glimpse at what we'll be doing: Pastor Imbumi Makuku, the leader of the church in Kibera, says that the camps have played a significant role in the revival at the Kibera church. This is the fifth year that Christ Covenant has been asked to lead the camp. The children come from the Kibera Slum, where almost 1 million people live in about two square miles. We bring about 150-200 older youth from the slum to a resident camp for a week of camp activities and Bible teaching. Here they can escape their world for a week and live without the stresses they deal with day to day in the slums. My heart is breaking already for them and the hardships they are going through at such a young age.
Would you join me in my ministry to these youth in Kenya? Most of all I need your prayers. If you would commit to pray for me during the months before and during Kenyacamp, I would be greatly blessed. With your help, I will be able to be a part of this trip to bring the love of Christ to these people.
This also includes financial support. I need to personally raise $3000. The cost is for plane tickets and to pay for the children attending the camp since they cannot afford to pay for it. Please prayerfully consider helping me by giving a financial donation of $20, $50, $100 or more. Any amount will be so helpful. Do not think just because of these hard economic times that since you may only be able to offer a little that there is no point in giving at all. The Lord will use whatever you can give.
Thank you all for your support and the prayers you have lifted up for me through this process. I cannot wait to see what the Lord does through this, in me, you, and the lives of these youth in Kenya!
To help support me financially please click below to read this document:
http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1a6b7sZBnuL7sAHEGk2lHQqp9WyNnFZF9iOo5smy206c&hl=en&authkey=CPL-gKEM
Click here for the support card to be included with your check.
http://docs.google.com/document/edit?id=1yqglxejYtqz4u0aPCwtzrg-boUbT1s6rxWTDxvD0Hyg&hl=en&authkey=CJagqpMG
For prayer support, you can fill out the support card above and all forms can be sent to:
Outreach and Missions, 800 Fullwood Lane, Matthews, NC 28105
Thank you all for your time and prayers!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Pens
Here are my top 5 so far:
My personal favorite right now for my journal writing. For its permanent and dark black ink, ease-of-use, refillable!!, and smooth writing for smaller rule lined paper. Also great for official documents, clean writing with no bleed-through. Black, blue, or red ink.
Found at Office Max and Target
Approximate Cost: $4
For overall smoothness and great handwriting on a one-sided page (because of the bleed-through). Most everyone knows about this one. What you don't know, is that this is the Sharpie marker with the felt tip, but it is thin, unlike your typical, run-of-the-mill thick Sharpie markers. Large variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $5
For clean, clear lines in a small space (such as Bibles and books) and overall smoothness (plus it's permanent!) Great for drawing as well!! Only drawback, the tip begins to shove back into the metal as with most pens of this type (depends on how often you write and with what pressure). Primary colors and some pigmented colors (such as sepia and burgundy) ink.
Found at Michaels and Hobby Lobby
Approximate Cost: $3
For smooth lines, flow, dark ink, ease for good handwriting (cursive and print). Sometimes bleeds through certain types of paper or when you bear down too hard, but water resistant! Variety of colors of ink.
Found at Office Depot
Approximate Cost $1 !!!
For great flow and beautiful handwriting, permanent ink, and minimal bleed through (depending on the thinness of the paper). Lines are fairly thick, but still great for journals and other writing. Wouldn't recommend to use on checks or official documents. Variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $1 (In a pack of 8 for about $8)
Honorable Mention: Pilot G2 07 (0.7mm) Pen
These used to be my all time favorite pen until I got my journal wet one day and the entire page smeared. Ever since then I always check for PERMANENT or WATER-RESISTANT pens. They should be labeled. However, if you are a person that doesn't care about this and are simply looking for a smooth pen that makes your handwriting look pretty in cursive and print, this is the pen for you! Large variety of ink colors.
Found at any of your local office stores or supermarkets/Target/Wal-mart
Approximate Cost: $3
And now for some samples!!
Pigma Micron 005 (0.26mm) Pen
This one I like to use in my Bible for side notes. One of my top five.
In order of Appearance:
Foray Liquid Medium (0.7mm) Pen
One of my top five.
Sharpie Pen Easy Grip with Top
Would be an honorable mention, except for the whole smoosh thing.
Sharpie Pen Easy Grip Click Pen
Same as Sharpie Pen with Top.
BIC Triumph 730 (0.5mm) Pen
Another top five.
Papermate Regular "Black" Ball Point Pen
Not my favorite, but cheep and easy to grip, so handwriting looks nice...too bad the ink doesn't match the ease-of-use.
Sharpie Extra Fine Point Permanent Marker
One of the top five.
BIC Mark-It Ultra Fine Point Permanent Marker
Another top five.
My next blog will be about pens to stay away from. I will be your personal shopper so that when I spend money and find a dud, you won't have to because I'll be here to inform you! Please feel free to ask questions or even request a certain pen for me to try out! Anything you request, I will make sure to get a critique up as soon as possible!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Throw Off All that Hinders
On Monday, I sat outside under the eaves of the back porch of the dairy barn as rain poured down in front of me. I looked up to the sky and it seemed so surreal and almost unbelievable that God is up there. I wondered how I could even speak to Him. Then I thought of the song with the lyrics, "I lift my eyes up to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth." (from Psalm 121). I just really felt His presence then and began to cry. I felt so inadequate and that reminded me of Psalm 144:3, "O Lord, what is man that you regard him, or the son of man that you think of him?" How could He think of me, sitting there under the shelter of the dairy barn, when there is such an expanse of earth and beyond that I cannot even fathom or be a part of? In my small sphere of influence, what am I really doing? I feel as if I'm just living. But I want to be Living, with a capital "L". I want to live life for what matters, for His Kingdom. All the cares of the world and the things I use to fill my time or derive comfort from mean nothing in the scheme of God's plan. Why do I busy myself with gadgets? Why do most of us think we really should have these things? With all the things we use to entertain ourselves, there is some sense of entitlement within us that says, "Well, it's boring right now, so I have a reason to indulge in this." What we are really saying is, "Maybe if there was actually something good going on in my life God, I could spend more time with you. As it is, this is more interesting." How can He give us purpose if we keep turning away from His call to leave all the things that preoccupy us? I seriously do want to go out and sell all my pointless things that I use to amuse myself. What good are they, but to distract me from my true purpose here? God did not say He wanted to bless us with trinkets and nice things--how selfish to think that I, of all people, a sinner who might as well be spitting in the face of my Jesus every time I choose worldly things over Him, deserve that blessing? God does not just bless us with objects for our happiness, He blesses us with relationships, spouses, children, strength and perseverance when we are at our weakest, and the seemingly small things that show us He is there and loves us. The objects of this world can serve a purpose and bring us joy, but when we look to them as our only source of joy (which, if we truly inspected ourselves and were honest, we would have to say that we do) we must rid ourselves of them. Anything hindering you from seeing Christ, cut it off. That is why God said it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter into the kingdom of heaven. Riches cloud judgment, we begin to rationalize, become hooked, then addicted, and then give excuses why we shouldn't give it up. What is taking over you? We must identify and throw off all that is taking over our effectiveness for our true reason for living on this earth: to glorify God, work for the Kingdom, make disciples, and enjoy Him (above ALL else) FOREVER.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Kenya
I have the amazing opportunity to go to Kenya in December for 10 days. I have been praying that the Lord would bring me an opportunity to do a mission trip this year, and here it is. All I need is for the plane tickets to work out. I know that if this is what He has for me, it will surely happen. I am waiting patiently, with courage in my heart. Please pray that everything would fall into place if this is the Lord's will for my life. I am already beginning to have a love in my heart for the people there and I am praying that the Lord would open my eyes to His people and expand my vision beyond my comfortable life here. I have never been outside of the US so I am a bit nervous for the flight among other things. I could really use your prayers right now. I really feel the closeness of the Lord as I seek Him through this. It's been amazing. Thanks everyone who is praying!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Unto You I Come
I come into Your presence, Lord
Unto You I come
All the life I have to live
I let go and run
The race You've marked out for me
Author of my salvation
Let me throw off all that hinders
Triumph with great elation
I want to know Your courts, O Lord
Where love and faithfulness meet
Teach me of Your endless love
Make my trust in You complete
You alone are my God
Mighty, wild, and free
Let me forever be with You
And You dwell within me
Where You are is where I belong
You're all I want always
For where You are is safety and
A shelter for all days
In Your presence all bow down
Righteousness and peace together
In the majesty of Your grace and glory
Let me delight in You forever!
All the life I have to live
I let go and run
The race You've marked out for me
Author of my salvation
Let me throw off all that hinders
Triumph with great elation
I want to know Your courts, O Lord
Where love and faithfulness meet
Teach me of Your endless love
Make my trust in You complete
You alone are my God
Mighty, wild, and free
Let me forever be with You
And You dwell within me
Where You are is where I belong
You're all I want always
For where You are is safety and
A shelter for all days
In Your presence all bow down
Righteousness and peace together
In the majesty of Your grace and glory
Let me delight in You forever!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
In Christ Alone
It is all by Christ alone that I do anything. It is all by Christ alone that I can do all things. I ran a 16 second 100 meter 2 days ago. It was so exhilarating! The Lord really blessed me with that. It made me realize I've forgotten to count my blessings. I've been looking at others' lives and being envious instead of remembering God is doing what He wants and what is exactly right for my life. I pray the Lord would help me to trust that and that I would always remember everything He does for me. I don't often enough just sit down and dwell on all He has done, on His majesty and His power and that He is Lord over my life. I have been looking to other things for my happiness, including church, friends, and the idea of being healed. Instead of remembering all the things that excite me in every day life, I have been looking to the church to give me that joy, and when it hasn't I've been disappointed. But joy is not just in what church you go to and how amazing it is, joy is found in relationships, in the things that make you happy, even in the seemingly small blessings God bestows upon you everyday. The Lord has given me a great job, a new car, a subbing job for the summer, the possibility of moving into my own apartment this fall, getting to ride Abe again (his leg is healed), and my new-found (or should I say rediscovered) love of running (thanks Lianne and Mitch). I haven't even let myself be joyful over these things because I always think they have to be spiritual things that give me joy. But in truth, all those things are spiritual, they are a gift of God. The rush of wind in my face as I'm sprinting, the feel of God's arms around me, the freedom I feel when I'm riding Abe, the fun I have when I'm dancing to my favorite rap songs with my favorite people, laughing at inside jokes, being with people I love, watching Drew and Evi play together and seeing Evi put her hand up to the window in the Chick-fil-a play area to wave at me with the biggest grin on her face, making a silly movie, going on a roller coaster and feeling the adrenaline rush, driving around in my new car, listening to music that makes my heart soar, the cold, crisp feel of the first step outside early in the morning just as the sun is rising on a winter day, the chance to go to Colorado and climb a 14'er, these are all gifts from God and I can be joyful over them! It just makes my soul well up with gladness and admiration for the Lord! The Lord wants us to dwell on the blessings He gives. He supplies our every need. I want to thank God everyday, even for the small things He gives me. Exclaiming over His works is what the book of Psalm is all about. We are to tell of his marvelous works. That is what I want to do, no matter what my circumstances. God will meet all my needs because He is committed to that. I am going to live out my faith. I will look to the Healer and not just the healing. I am going to live like I am well. He gives me the strength for the day. That is all I need.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Praising God
May 10, 2010
I don't often think about the earth itself praising God. Even the birds and the horses and the rocks and the trees praise Him. They all proclaim His majesty. Today at the barn I listened to the old praise and worship CD from City Church. Three different birds sat on the fence across from my car for longer than usual. It was as if they were listening to the worship. As if a part of them remembered for a split second what it was like when Christ was on the earth. Yes, I forget that even they have a purpose. Though I'm not sure they consciously know it, I see glimpses of the Lord taking care of them and them fulfilling their purpose to the glory of God. Even the beauty and ingenious design of a bird's nest I found in the hay shed at the barn. The bird had wrapped twine round and round a post winding it in and out around the cross section the nest was perched on. The outside of the nest was neatly woven hay, twine, and white hair that I can only assume was Cloud's, Laura's dog. (Laura is one of the girls who owns a horse at the Greenway) Amazing. The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. When a bird makes a nest, when a horse runs wild and free with its mane flowing behind it, when a dog chases a squirrel, when ants march in a row working together to build their hill, when a bumblebee gathers nectar from plants for honey, when the earth shakes, when the grass sways, it is all worshiping the Lord. It is all to His majesty. They are living in their call. Living is simple. We are the ones that complicate it.
Matthew 6:25-27"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
The nest in the shed
The baby in the nest :)
I don't often think about the earth itself praising God. Even the birds and the horses and the rocks and the trees praise Him. They all proclaim His majesty. Today at the barn I listened to the old praise and worship CD from City Church. Three different birds sat on the fence across from my car for longer than usual. It was as if they were listening to the worship. As if a part of them remembered for a split second what it was like when Christ was on the earth. Yes, I forget that even they have a purpose. Though I'm not sure they consciously know it, I see glimpses of the Lord taking care of them and them fulfilling their purpose to the glory of God. Even the beauty and ingenious design of a bird's nest I found in the hay shed at the barn. The bird had wrapped twine round and round a post winding it in and out around the cross section the nest was perched on. The outside of the nest was neatly woven hay, twine, and white hair that I can only assume was Cloud's, Laura's dog. (Laura is one of the girls who owns a horse at the Greenway) Amazing. The earth is the Lord's and everything in it. When a bird makes a nest, when a horse runs wild and free with its mane flowing behind it, when a dog chases a squirrel, when ants march in a row working together to build their hill, when a bumblebee gathers nectar from plants for honey, when the earth shakes, when the grass sways, it is all worshiping the Lord. It is all to His majesty. They are living in their call. Living is simple. We are the ones that complicate it.
Matthew 6:25-27"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?"
The nest in the shed
The baby in the nest :)Sunday, May 23, 2010
Out of Egypt
One of the ones I found from a while ago:
"They said to Moses, 'Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
-Exodus 14:11&12
I am reading through the book of Exodus in the Bible and have gotten to the part where the Israelites are finally being delivered from Egypt. It occurred to me as I was reading Exodus 14:11 that we are often like the Israelites (BIG surprise!). When the Israelites saw the Egyptians coming after them (after Pharaoh had changed his mind and decided to go after them to keep them from leaving Egypt) they doubted God and inquired of Moses why he had led them out in the wilderness to die. We do this, too. We follow God to a certain point where we feel comfortable and then when the going gets rough, we question whether He is taking care of us or just leading us to die. It is then we must trust He has a plan and it will be fulfilled and He will bring us through. But we have to have faith that He does all things for the good of those who love Him and that no matter what circumstances look like to us, in the end it is for our best. But what if our "Egypt is all we know?
The Israelites had known nothing else for years. They had been in bondage for so long, they did not know from their small scope of life that there was anything better. They were actually under the impression that it would be better to live enslaved than to die free. Are we not the same way? We live so long in this world of pain and suffering, where people's hearts are devoid of God and it's all we know. And when we have the chance for something better, we balk at it. Instead of stepping forward and going through the discomfort of refinement to freedom (dying to ourselves), most of us would rather stay in our dark, dank, smelly world and rot away perhaps with only the hope of possible love from another person who is still preoccupied with themselves no matter how they try to convince us otherwise, or our next cigarette or shot of whiskey after a long day, or the next party we can go to and forget our troubles and trick ourselves into believing we are happy. But we know deep down that at the end of the day, when we are alone and lonely, none of those things satisfy. We are in bondage, in slavery. But on our way out, when God is in the midst of delivering us, we cry out to go back because what we've known seems to be a better option or we don't want to give up the sex, drugs, and parties that we think of as freedom. It is not until we see, with knees quivering in fear in the midst of our doubting Him, His awesome power break through and wipe out our bondage and open our eyes to the promised land, to the better place to which He is taking us, that we see and believe and are free. And even then we doubt sometimes. But once we are His, truly living for Him and not our selfish desires, He will always bring us back, bring us out of the desert, even through all our complaining. He will bring us out on the beautiful, glorious other side where eternity lies and we can rest in Him. Are we going to continue to prefer to live enslaved to these things, or are we going to see that dying free is the better portion? We must see that when we die to ourselves and live for God, THAT is true freedom.
"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'...Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. And the people of Israel went into the midst of the sea on dry ground...and as the Egyptians fled into it, the Lord threw the Egyptians into the midst of the sea. The waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen; of all the host of Pharaoh that had followed them into the sea, NOT ONE OF THEM REMAINED. But the people of Israel walked on dry ground through the sea...Thus the Lord saved Israel from the hand of the Egyptians...Israel saw the great power that the Lord used against the Egyptians, so the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord..."
-Exodus 14:13, 21, 22, 27-31
"They said to Moses, 'Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness."
-Exodus 14:11&12
I am reading through the book of Exodus in the Bible and have gotten to the part where the Israelites are finally being delivered from Egypt. It occurred to me as I was reading Exodus 14:11 that we are often like the Israelites (BIG surprise!). When the Israelites saw the Egyptians coming after them (after Pharaoh had changed his mind and decided to go after them to keep them from leaving Egypt) they doubted God and inquired of Moses why he had led them out in the wilderness to die. We do this, too. We follow God to a certain point where we feel comfortable and then when the going gets rough, we question whether He is taking care of us or just leading us to die. It is then we must trust He has a plan and it will be fulfilled and He will bring us through. But we have to have faith that He does all things for the good of those who love Him and that no matter what circumstances look like to us, in the end it is for our best. But what if our "Egypt is all we know?
The Israelites had known nothing else for years. They had been in bondage for so long, they did not know from their small scope of life that there was anything better. They were actually under the impression that it would be better to live enslaved than to die free. Are we not the same way? We live so long in this world of pain and suffering, where people's hearts are devoid of God and it's all we know. And when we have the chance for something better, we balk at it. Instead of stepping forward and going through the discomfort of refinement to freedom (dying to ourselves), most of us would rather stay in our dark, dank, smelly world and rot away perhaps with only the hope of possible love from another person who is still preoccupied with themselves no matter how they try to convince us otherwise, or our next cigarette or shot of whiskey after a long day, or the next party we can go to and forget our troubles and trick ourselves into believing we are happy. But we know deep down that at the end of the day, when we are alone and lonely, none of those things satisfy. We are in bondage, in slavery. But on our way out, when God is in the midst of delivering us, we cry out to go back because what we've known seems to be a better option or we don't want to give up the sex, drugs, and parties that we think of as freedom. It is not until we see, with knees quivering in fear in the midst of our doubting Him, His awesome power break through and wipe out our bondage and open our eyes to the promised land, to the better place to which He is taking us, that we see and believe and are free. And even then we doubt sometimes. But once we are His, truly living for Him and not our selfish desires, He will always bring us back, bring us out of the desert, even through all our complaining. He will bring us out on the beautiful, glorious other side where eternity lies and we can rest in Him. Are we going to continue to prefer to live enslaved to these things, or are we going to see that dying free is the better portion? We must see that when we die to ourselves and live for God, THAT is true freedom.
"And Moses said to the people, 'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'...Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the Lord drove the sea back by a strong east wind all night and made the sea dry land, and the waters were divided. And the people of Israel went into the midst of the sea on dry ground...and as the Egyptians fled into it, the Lord threw the Egyptians into the midst of the sea. The waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen; of all the host of Pharaoh that had followed them into the sea, NOT ONE OF THEM REMAINED. But the people of Israel walked on dry ground through the sea...Thus the Lord saved Israel from the hand of the Egyptians...Israel saw the great power that the Lord used against the Egyptians, so the people feared the Lord, and they believed in the Lord..."
-Exodus 14:13, 21, 22, 27-31
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Lumberjacks and other miscellaneous things
I have been dealing a lot lately with being saddened over friendships that are no longer as close because we are so far away. I do not want this to happen with my small group girls, but it seems it is inevitable. Talking on the phone is just not the same. And I am not rich so I cannot just get up and fly off somewhere with an expensive plane ticket. Tears have most definitely fallen over this realization and have in the past as well with other friends. As I go back through old photos of days gone by, memories flood in and the tears come freely as I dream of being back in that place doing that exact thing of which I am looking so longingly upon. This has especially been true recently looking over my Snow Ridge 2008 summer camp photos. I can feel the moments as if they happened yesterday. Somehow it is so surreal, because at times it seems like the things in the pictures never happened. I don't want this to happen with my girls. I pray the Lord would continue to keep all of us in each others' lives. But if that is not to happen, I have learned that He will bring me through it and bring me new community, new beginnings, and new friendships that will be just as meaningful as the ones of the past. I thank Him that no matter where I am or what I am doing, He will always provide for me, and as long as I am following Him, I know that I can place it all in His hands and He will bring out good from it.
Westcliffe, Colorado
Monday, May 17, 2010
Debate
So I have debated for a while as to whether I would open an account and begin writing a blog. But after much earnest consideration, I have obviously decided to do it. I had the idea that I would write down my everyday thoughts, and then it also occurred to me that I have other things I like to write about, so my journal entries may find their way onto the pages of this honesty journal. Having said that and formally given my introduction to the world, I do believe I am ready to start blogging. I hope that you do not find it boring, but bear with me as I start out, for I am new at this, and you can't quite judge someone who has never done this kind of thing before. But as I am calling this the honest journal, I am expecting you to be honest with me. So please, feel free to share opinions, because I am always up for learning things, sharing ideas, and expanding the mind. So read on, write on, and don't hesitate to expound on my writings.
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