Troubled Soul Don't Lose Your Heart

As the year draws to a close and a new year comes upon us, I am reminded of where I was 2 years ago and where I long to return someday soon, and that is Nairobi, Kenya. Here is something I wrote a few days after I got back in 2011 and how I still feel at times even now. 

January 7, 2011

"Troubled soul don't lose your heart, 'cause joy and peace He brings. And the beauty that's in store outweighs the hurt of life's sting." This exact part of the song "There Will Be a Day" woke me up this morning on my alarm. I have woken up the last two days with an ache in my heart. A sinking feeling comes over me. It hurt so much to leave Kenya and I long for my brothers and sisters there. But God has me here. I want to fulfill the Lord's purpose wherever He has me.

May I wake up with the joy that I'm with You, Lord. That You hold my lot. You are my portion and cup. To You alone does my spirit yield. You are my heart's desire. I long to be with You.

I drank some of my Kenyan tea today. It brought back so many memories. Here we do not take the time just to sit and commune with one another. That is what having tea does. And then whenever you drink it, you recall all the warm feelings you had when you were in the company of your brothers and sisters in Christ. I brought a bit of Kenya home with me, in more ways than one. I don't know if I'll be able to drink the tea. When I close my eyes, I can see us sitting around the meeting room on the property at camp chatting and laughing and sharing stories and life with one another.

Philippians 4:1 "Therefore my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, beloved"

I used to skim over these words as "just a greeting", but now I empathize with Paul and the true feeling of love and compassion for a people very dear to me. Paul loved and longed for those he'd met in his mission journeys. It didn't always mean he got to go back, but he always carried a part of them in his heart. I long to go back, to be with those I've visited, loved, and shared with. But right now that cannot be. But I do feel the joy of the Spirit. I can feel His strength lifting me up in my weakness. I can feel how Christ is holding me, how He's brought me running to Him. Before the foundation of the earth He chose me. You are amazing, God! May I always run to You and listen to Your words!

I realize also it is the camp I miss. The closeness with my sisters and brothers in Christ with God. I want to be doing that now. Communing with them. I long to be with them in body, not just spirit. The Lord has used this to draw me close to Him and He has been faithful. He has brought scripture to mind and kept me going. He graciously bestowed blessings when I sought Him fervently and truly. Thank You, Lord! Amen! Praise the Lord! You are good! A mighty fortress! A refuge! Great are You, Lord! Your plans will be fulfilled! Psalm 121:8-You watch over my coming and going! My times and places belong to You! Bwana asifiwe tena na tena! Amen na amen!